saying buhbye - why so hard?!

It's weird to think about two of my best friends moving. And I'm saying this from a purely selfish standpoint, because I'm moving to - here, there, everywhere. But two of my closest boys, Jared and Josh, are heading for the hills of Austin, Texas. And while this is great - I'm fucking thrilled for them - I selfishly wanted to spend my three weeks of Montana time partying with them before I plunge into the icy waters of what I predict will be utter social isolation.

Part of me even wants to check the whole France thing (surely the worst of the many impulses running through my head) and follow them to Austin. Not that I have the money to make such a move right now. The critical reader might ask how I have the financial werewithal to be moving to France. Parents, I would hypothetically reply. Bless 'em.

But I really wish I was going with them. Partially, because I am partially responsible for planting such a crazy idea in their wee heads. Um, partially. I really felt the last sentance was only partially redundant. Um. Yes. But I'm not self-editing for whatever reason...ANYWAY!

I was talking Austin because that's where I want to go as soon as I come back from France, after what would hopefully be a brief hiatus chez mes parents so I could make some bank. Yes, I plan too far ahead, especially when I am very much joyless in the present. Exhibits A, B, and C are high school, now and high school (keeping in the spirit of reduntia).

I'm crazy for the idea of doing grad school in Austin (creative writing, NOT JOURNALISM, FUCK THAT SHIT, I SAY). Especially because their MFA program is unbelievable - Denis Johnson and Joy Williams are their visiting writers for the fall, and they have a three-year, dual-emphasis program that pays would $19,000 each year and you don't have to do a teaching fellowship. Um, yeah. And it's Austin, one of the blossoming hip-but-not-as-snotty-as-Seattle-(hopefully) meccas of the U.S. So, I'm jealous. And I wish if I weren't going with them they would have at least waited a wee bit longer.

But it's so crazy watching them runrunrun into the distance, with more motivation and momentum than I had believed either of them even fractionally possible.

I didn't really mean to go on so long about that, but I guess divergent roads have been eatting up my thoughts lately, especially with my darling E-Liz leaving for Florida yesterdayish, for the other school I'm applying to for grad school. And my own departure knocking at the door alarmingly soon.

Also, tangentially, I felt like I was in the 'Fleet Week' episode of Sex and the City today. You know the one! There were sailors EVERYWHERE, and I was semi-supposed to being hanging out with one. Alas, not a date. My very good friend Julia's brother and I were trying to cross one another's paths, to little/no avail today. Also, went to a dumb-ish art opening today that brought me back very suddenly to one of my adventures in Berlin, at this very unsual abandonned warehouse / anarchist art show thing. Except, you know, this is Seattle, transforming this experience into a sucky, bastardized version of my pleasant memory.