les crushes / survey attaque

Okay, so I have a confession. Sometimes, I get that 'not-so-pure' feeling when I'm around a handful of my students. Colleagues too, but that's like...acceptable almost. Expected, certainly - this whole experience is making me feel like I'm in high school, so getting crushes on profs is something that obviously happens. And I am currently living my life French-teenager style, getting forever stoned in my room, listening to music, masturbating furiously.

However, les crushes: one of them just walked in to the salle de profs - my heart stopped a little bit. She is totally the froggy teenage sex-kitten of my dreams: almost six feet tall, long red hair, big green eyes, French indie/hippie style, totally mortified by how hot she is. She's like a perfect combination of all my hot redheaded lady friends. When I gave her a bisou, I couldn't believe I didn't get a boner.

No, I'm not actually 'bisexual' but sometimes I get crushes on girls, à la lesbian dream girl from college. I once got wasted as only a 20 year-old can and told her girlfriend I was in love with her (lesbian dream girl, not her girlfriend).

Other crushes: I teach a BTS class once in a great while, and have fostered a crush for one of the clueless 20 year-olds therein. I saw him yesterday, when I was randomly teaching a small group from that class. When I found out he was in my group, it was a little difficult to maintain my calm, especially since he's rocking these totally hot sideburns. I kept on thinking that he was looking at me with those big dreamy eyes because he loved me, but my roomie and I decided he is actually just a total tosser and probably has no idea what I'm saying, so that is his 'concentration face,' easily confused with the 'can't you see I'm in love with you' face.

Then there are two boys in my lycee pro class, both about twenty, dreamy as F-uuuuuuuck. The one time I sortied with the crazy girls from this class (before they were my students) the ringleader invited two guys she was hot for to the bar, one of whom being the BTS boy and the other being one of the lycee pro boys. Can't argue with mofuckin' good taste!

But the big daddy of crushes falls to the mysterious beautiful surveyant that works at my school. At first, I was sure he was a surveyant. Then I thought he was a student. Now I'm about 70% sure that's he's actually a surveyant. Nonetheless, he is the cutest boy in all of Finistere, and I DO believe my studies have been extensive enough to draw this conclusion. Curly brown hair, blue eyes, non-wack French pseudo hippie style. Every time I look into his eyes I feel like I'm going to fall down.

This weekend, it's going to be Brest (tonite), Quimper (tomorrow), Nantes (Sat, for Le Tigre!) and possibly La Rochelle (Sunday/Monday/never).

Okay, wasn't that fun and enlightening?! On with the survey I poached from Sara, since it has been approximately one million years since I last did a survey up in this piece.


Ten movies you'd watch over and over:
1. Donnie Darko
2. Breathless
3. Before Sunrise/Sunset
4. The Thin Man series (ALL OF IT!)
5. Gone With the Wind
6. Spirited Away / any Miyazaki film
7. Heathers
8. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf
9. Adventures of Felix
10. Young Frankenstein

Nine people you enjoy the company of:
1. E-Liz
2. Nico
3. Saundies
4. Jigga
5. Little Bro Jimmy B
6. Elaine
7. Magui
8. Imani
9. The LDCC (not one, but many (cheating))

Eight things you are wearing:
1. The very last cool shirt that H&M made tan and white with crazy seventies designs
2. Red 'Freedom Bowl' teeshirt over the top
3. Gap-rhymes-with-crap jeans
4. Dope-ass Target watch
5. Black socks
6. The shoes I betrayed Ireland for
7. HOT striped underwear from H&M
8. Cool denim jacket

Seven things on your mind:
1. Should I have a fourth coffee?
2. Going on my crazy adventure this long weekend
3. Need to buy blank CDs
4. Hopefully I got fucking PAID today or I'm fucking fucked
5. My friend Saundies actually emailed me!
6. The crushes
7. The apples I bought on Tuesday are mushy SHIT

Six objects you touch every day:
1. my computer
2. my toothbrush
3. money
4. my lighter
5. my bed!
6. myself (hahaha! i can objectify myself)

Five things you do every day:
1. Read
2. Count the days until I leave with a combination of fear and longing
3. Smoke cigs
4. Um, eat?
5. Obsess about things I need to do or should be doing to the point of sleep deprivation.

Four bands/groups/musical acts you love:
1. David Bowie!!!
2. The Decemberists
3. Helio Sequence
4. Nina Simone


Three of your favorite songs at this moment:
1. Queen Bitch - David Bowie
2. Ashes of American Flags - Wilco
3. I'm Just a Soul Who's Intentions are Good - Nina Simone (from the Dior commercial)

Two people who have influenced your life the most:
1. Weirdly, I would say Marla - one of my first and only genuinely good friends in high school - she taught me how to be open, to be true to myself, how to raise my voice and say something clever or shocking just for the fun of it, how to smoke cigs, how to smoke weed. She taught me how to be, how not to be and that just because you've known someone for five years doesn't mean they're not fucking crazy.
2. It's hard to pick one other person - if I had to pick one other person, I would say my friend Travis. Who taught me that it's okay to talk like a crazy person, it is exceedingly necessary to always be reading and always be writing, that it's okay to get stupidly drunk as long as you laugh at yourself, that being convicted and truly believing things is the only way to be alive.

One person who you love more than anyone in the world:
1. This is fucked up, but I'm going to say myself - I don't have that big scary life-changing love of my life yet and frankly I don't even know if I want that right now. I am becoming the person I have always wanted to be, I am able to surround myself with amazing people who even more amazingly care as much about me as I do them, which is really a fucking miracle. But what I've learned in France is that ultimately, in spite of all these people, I am really the only one that I have. And I can stand on my own two feet, look myself in the mirror straight in the crazy-color-change-eyes and say 'I love you' and 'I hate you' in the same breath - that's love.