nobody said it was eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasyyyyyy

So, yesterday morning, at 8 am, I was awoken by Coldplay and a coked-out Venezuelan performing on the porch. This figure shall be known as V, AKA a blow-enabling madman who is paying me to write a paper for him.

INteresting, non?

So, his drunk and crazy ass kidnaps me, takes me up to Mount Bonnell, both of us in PJs and runs around and smokes me out and insists on me drinking in the sights, which were not unincredible - obviously, it was beautiful.

But this kid is crazy, and acting like he's too drunk to drive back. I don't know how to drive stick so I couldn't take his wheels and ditch him. He yells at me when I try to walk away from him, he flips out when I commented 'Nice scene, V,' calls me a fucking bitch girl for me wanting to be taken home, then finally does a bump and brings me back. This time, no running of reds or stops or knocking over construction shit. Phew.

Anyway, he kept on saying I was going back to bed (I wasn't) and how I should go out to coffee with him.

Nono, cocoadog.

I woke up to him seriously and crazily challenging my commitment to doing his fucking paper, blahblah, I had no desire to talk about it much more. I go inside to get dressed, take proper bonghits and prepare my excuse.

So this cat is just waiting on my porch, shirtless. And while he is straight, it seems to him perhaps that perky, epic pecs and biblically flat stomach may convince me to do what he fucking wants. Luckily, Josh pretended to follow through on being an extra in the local caveman epic (actually being filmed, not even kidding) so I had an out.

Anyway, that was yesterday, this is today. Must go to bank, must go grocery shopping, must FUCKING WRITE.