at long last!

Okay, so I'm going to give this a go. I've been feeling rather wildly uninspired lately, but each time I start writing a new blog entry, I just get lost in my own attempts to explain or characterize this feeling. So I'm not going to. It exists, it's boring the shit out of me, and the best I can do is plow through it, try and inspire my own damn self and move the fuck on.

I've been watching Wong Kar Wai lately, both In the Mood for Love (which I'd never seen before) and Fallen Angels (which I fucking adore). I guess I feel like they've been making me think way too much about the absurd hide and go seek game I'm playing with my own heart. His characters are always hiding their real feelings behind some trick, some impossible prop that seems transparent to the viewer but the character needs so much to cover themselves with.

I feel like I'm playing a similar game with myself. I want to be with someone right now, at least physically. But I feel way too crazy to let someone get much closer than that. But of course I do. So what do I do? Nothing. Not a fucking thing. Part of this neo-hermitude is specifically the avoidance of all things outside world-y.

But it's South by Southwest. Lots of lonely out-of-towners hitting the streets. I have all of St. Patty's day off and nothing but free shows and drinking on my list all day. I'm going to get out into that fucking world and demand the bounty owed me. And by bounty, I do mean booty.

Other news: Broken Social Scene has officially become my musical tortilla. Allow me to explain: living in Austin cultivates the feeling in one that any food not in a tortilla is fucking stupid. Breakfast tacos, home-made improvised quesadillas, burritos....indeed, anything not apparently wrapped in a tortilla is often neither cheap nor adequately satisfying. Broken Social Scene and its many musical off-shootings (Metric, Stars, Raising the Fawn, Jason Collett) are all currently dominating my personal charts. The only hopeful breakthrough lies in hometown heroes I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness, who inspite of having a woefully clunky yet awesomely sweet name (surely a recipe for disaster, non?) managed to put out a beautiful, '80s dark Britrock evocative full length. I can't stop listening to the song 'We Chose Faces' over and over and over and over and over. Unless I think of those lovable Canadian tortilla-ists.

Okay. I actually wrote a real blog entry. I'm going to try and drop little posts more regularly that are a little more self-contained and individually focused, instead of throwing together some sprawling bullshit after weeks and weeks of not posting. Here's hoping!