yeah, i'm feeling mushy

...but maybe I'm just woozy from the workout.

Shit like this (ED NOTE: WHY IS BLOGGER SO FUCKED ABOUT A HREF LINKS?! http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20040809/lf_nm/life_cuddleparties_dc_1 )
s a good representation of what I like about The Stranger. Making sure everyone in editorial knows about this story through our frequently and hilariously abused email list.

I don't know. I wish I was able to turn myself around and appreciate the opportunity I've been given there. But I'm a new kid trying to break into an insular crowd. I'm already dishearted most of the time because I don't really have any friends in Seattle and I pretty much never have money. Most of the work I do is bullshit. I'm working on a side of the paper that, while valuable and well put together, is not the reason people love the publication. And surely it's not the reason I ever did.

But I'm trying to make the best of it. Trying to graduate college. Trying to get the three written clips that are the difference between me realizing the second goal and, well, not.

I really feel like if I wasn't so desperately insecure, I could have had a totally different experience. But watching staffer after staffer thumb their nose at me, I started to feel hopeless. I've come to realize it is neither my fault (fuck that! I'm charming as hell!) nor theirs (much as I resent anyone who would dare to thumb their nose at me). I blame Seattle, which makes people overly self-conscious and so guarded it makes me want to shake these fucking hipsters and scream, 'DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE YOUNG, YOU HOPELESSLY RESTRAINED COCKFACE?!'

Um, yeah. It's frustrating. But I've got a little over two weeks to make the best of this experience. And damned if that's not what I plan on doing.