whirlpool o'despair

Though a few Xmas miracles have taken place this week (Christmas box, email from my seemingly long-lost Nico), I have yet to be saved from this silly, franco-clichéd fit I am currently having. Sleep has been quite elusive for the past few nights. If I were NOT in France (oh, so many ways to finish that sentance!) I would probably reconsider my opinion of modern therapy and get me to a headshrinker. But I am not. As usual, I am wishing for the MJ relief my drug-addled body so longs for. Luckily, vacation is around the corner.

UNluckily...I will be spending Christmas alone. Or, rather, among strangers - here is the deal. I had to buy my tickets before December first to avoid inevitable inflation of price, etc. Here was my projected itinerary:

12/17 - 12/19: Weekend in Lanion with prof (canceled due to misunderstanding).
12/20 - 12/26: London, city of my heart, for b-day and X-mas
12/26 - 12/30: Paris, to pick up happy American friends and have expensive party adventures.
12/30 - 1/2: Amsterdam. Yes, yes, yes!

So, Lanion is off. Which is fine, I didn't want to start the vacances like that anyway. London departure has been bumped up to this Friday, which is good, because I will at least get to hang with my old Kaimin homie for a few days before...She leaves to go somewhere real for Xmas. I didn't hear back from her, assumed everything was a go (stupidly, obviously) and then sent her another missive to confirm my arrival. Now, I will be using these days to hang out with her AND force her roommates to let me stay in her room so I don't have to have a very Dickens Christmas (in the sense of being homeless, tragic, poor and orphaned). Hopefully, that works because I cannot afford to pay for a place to stay in fucking LONDON. Or at least not if I actually want to, you know, DO ANYTHING.

So, I will be friendless for Christmas AND my birthday, which feels like the more immediate heartbreaker, especially given the elaborate nature of last year's celebration. Oh well. Trying to deal.

Luckily, my Americans are coming on the 27th and it looks like I basically have the OK to take an almost-third week for vacation, which means that I will probably get to spend more time in Amsterdam, which is HOT.

So I'm trying to deal with the many-numbered tragedies of my young life. Whatevs. I'm young and living in europe so I should be happy, drunk and grateful. Right? Nein.

Why am I updating? Oh, I was going to write something about StarAc (fellow assistants know of what I speak) and the ungodly hotness of the male runner-up (Belmondo-esque, yum) but I feel lost to the seas of tragedy. Wah, wah, wah.

Luckily, I am reading an amazing book (Carter Beats the Devil) and the week is almost up. Look on the bright side? I'm trying, fuckers, but I've got a crick in my neck from all this bright side / dark side shit.