at last!

ok, blogger is somehow fucked up, but i will try to store this entry in the shambly bomb shelter of my mind.

i don't know why it's been so goddamn long since the last time i wrote. perhaps i am feeling mildly traumatized and slightly depressed, most of which has to do with the fact that I am living at my parents for a while longer. mostly, i smoke weed and endlessly watch tv. i am incapable of any kind of productivity or creativity right now. wheee!

it hasn't been all bad, by any means. i know that financially additional travels were out of the question, and i actually wanted to come home. i've been catching up with my beautiful, brilliant friends and laughing and partying a lot. i just feel really unfocused and insubstantial right now. i think when i actually live in missoula again, things are going to be infinitely better.

in about one week, i will be setting off for austin. i'm really excited, but it still doesn't feel like it's going to happen. the plan is to spend about nine of ten days there and evaluating whether or not i want to live there. i guess the question right now is...am i going to have the fawking money to do that? I'm trying not to gaze too pragmatically into the future, for such thoughts put bitter ends to our dreams. or something.

i've been listening to an arseload of new music. i have something like eighty new albums on my computer since my return, most of which i burned over the first weekend. Some of my faves:


Aha Shake Heatrbreak, Kings of Leon


The Arcade Fire Demo EP


Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple


Picaresque, The Decemberists (obviously!)


Notorious Lightning, Destoryer and Frog Eyes

Etc. I'm still filtering through all of it. Shout out to Kurt, future roommate and semi-permanent pain in the ass for hooking me up with like half of those albums.

So, yeah. My baby bro is graduating this weekend, then we're having a family trip to the ole ranch in Idaho (not ours, but we've been going there for ages) on Monday. Then I'm coming back to Missoula Wednesday afternoon, leaving for Austin on Thursday morning. Hopefully, we will make it to Denver late that night. If the gods are good, we should be in Austin on Saturday night.

I'm going to try and get a job as a baker this summer, and hopefully kickstart myself by working weird hours all summer and waking up those crazy parts of my brain again. It should yield manageable results, since I won't have to juggle it with school or pending emotional breakdown.

I don't know what else to say. My next entry will be a free-association synopsis of my american adventures.