well, that was interesting

I hate the feeling of being overtaken by an evil little notion or fear that you believed you had finally evaded - one that has plagued and nagged and drained to excess already. The accidental freedom you didn't even know you were enjoying because for some reason you weren't clapping your hands or spinning in circles over this victory, this escape or distraction.

I spent what could be described as a supernatural amount of time, energy and even surplus thought trying to slipslide away from the machinations of my own mind.

Be it this fella or that foible, they have a nasty little way of jumping back to their spots in my mind (perhaps left still-warm in the painfully brief absence).

It's hard to not view life, the universe and everything as a battlefield. At least a lot of the time, I think.

Why is this relevant right now?

Because it's raining. I just took my marvy British flag umbrella out for a walk in it. To drop a wonderful book off to a rather magical girl whom I even more magically known through a variety of connections.

But...

It made me wish that the feelings of wonder could outpace feelings of dread. I don't really know how to do that. But I'm trying.

I think the books I'm reading are sharpening my mind to a fine and hopefully fantastical point - Angela Carter and a beautiful book called 'The Book of Embraces.'

I would like these pesky thought buggers to bugger off.

In more officially catchy-up-y news, Montana was awesome. My birthday was bloody awesome. Christmas was a textbook illustration of awesomeness. Let me re-assert that I am much more in favor of the vacationing life rather than the working life.

New Year's Eve was fun, but it's hard to put a dent in the glorious and record-setting NYEs of the years that became 2003-2005 (New Orleans, Berlin and Amsterdam sequentially). There was a barrage of champagne, dancing and poor decisions and de-wigging. Friends and staying up late and all the good shit that comes with these times in our lives.

Anyway. That'll do for now. More magic pending, mehopes.